First Time Secrets

A newly married reader wrote in recently with this question:

I am 22, married about 5 months now, and I have never had sex before with my husband. We had decided to make it special after our wedding.

The problem is, when my husband wanted to try having sex, he was scared to hurt me and he got confused and couldn’t do anything. He is not ill, he is fine, but once he thinks I am going to be hurt, he gets scared. So I don’t even ask him to try any more because I don’t like to see that look on his face like he feels I need help.

Please, is there any other way to not be a virgin without needing my husband, at least for the first time? Then would it be easier for him? Please help.

Thanks for your question! It takes a lot of courage to ask such a personal question

First, congratulations on your new marriage! I hope you and your husband will enjoy many happy years together.

After reading your letter, it sounds to me like you both have a lot to learn about sex! It’s okay to be scared — when you don’t know how to approach it, sex can seem overwhelming and frightening. However, to make sex enjoyable, all you need is some information!

To answer your question — YES! There are lots of techniques you can use to become comfortable with your body so you’re prepared to enjoy sex BEFORE you have it for the first time. As a woman, I know how frightening it can be when you don’t know if it’s going to hurt. And I know how intimidating that fear can be for your husband as well.

However, you learn a lot about how to please yourself AND your husband, all while still remaining a virgin. Learning to enjoy sexual pleasure is a long and wonderful journey, and you and your husband can take that journey together. Done right, there’s no need for you to worry about pain — you can make it sweet, gentle, and beautiful for both of you.

I recommend that you buy a copy of my guide and read it together as a couple. By learning and communicating together about sex, you’ll both feel more confident and ready to enjoy sex later. I’ll tell you how to prepare your own bodies — and explore each other’s bodies so you’re comfortable and happy to get in bed and start having fun.

You can pick up a trial copy of my book to use for a full 30 days for just 99 cents. If you decide to keep it at the end of the 30 days, it’s a total cost of just $27 — but you can return it anytime within 30 days and not pay another cent. To order, visit www.firstimesecrets.com/order.html.

I guarantee it will get your love life off to a great start.