First Time Secrets

Hi Samantha,

My names Itzel and I’m under the age of 18. I personally think I’m ready for sex but at the same time I have worries. One of my worries is that I don’t have big breasts so I don’t feel confident about my boyfriend seeing me nude. Could you please help me out on this one?

Itzel

Dear Itzel,

I had the same worries about my boobs when I was your age!

But here’s the thing, guys care way more about how you act naked, than they do about any “imperfections” you may have. If a girl looked perfect naked but she was so embarrassed that she was constantly trying to hide her body from her boyfriend, how fun do you think that would be? And here’s another thing, your boyfriend may be feeling the same way about something on his body, wondering if his penis looks too small/weird to you/whatever….or he may be worried about getting too excited and ejaculating too soon.

The point is that everyone feels not so confident about something when it comes to getting naked, but if you can get past that and focus on all the other great things about sex, then you’ll both have a lot more fun. I’m sure your boyfriend already knows you don’t have big breasts, you don’t have to see someone naked to find that out. He probably doesn’t even care (believe it or not, not ALL guys like them big) and he’ll probably just be very happy to see you naked at all!

It may be hard, but my advice is to act confident about your breasts and then one day you will feel confident about them. Guys are attracted to confidence - you can trust me on this one!

Good luck!

Samantha

Dear Samantha,
Hi I’m now 16 but when i had sex for the first time i was like 14 and what I’m interested to know is this:
Is the first time I had sex when I lost my virginity? I didn’t see blood i would like to know why did that happen??
I had sex about 4-5 times after that but I never saw blood I’m interested to know why did this happen? So please can u give me some information about this?

Dear Alice,

Yes, the first time you had sex is when you lost your virginity. Bleeding the first time you have sex is normal, but it doesn’t always occur. The reason girls bleed the first time is because their hymens (thin membrane of skin found inside of the vagina) tear. Most girls are born with a hymen but this skin can tear partially or completely before you have sex from doing things like horseback riding or bike riding. It does not tear, only stretches, when you use a tampon.

When I was about 7, I was playing “the bumps” on a teeter totter (lifting your feet up and letting the teeter totter hit the ground first so the other person gets a little air and bumps back onto their seat), and I flew a little too high off of my seat and landed on the handle bar. It made me bleed a little out of my vagina, which was scary, but which I realized later tore my hymen. I didn’t bleed the first time I had sex either.

All the best,

Samantha