Should I lose my virginity to a friend?
Posted in Choosing to lose your virginity on June 29th, 2008 1 Comment »
Here’s a letter I received recently from a reader I’ll call Missy:
Dear Samantha: I am 15 years old and recently I’ve been thinking about having sex with my 17 year old friend. I love him, and he loves me. We just arent together, because I just got out of a relationship 2 months ago.
He’s very respectful and never brought up the subject, it was me. I think I’m a little freak. Or just a tease, i like flirting. But I only trust a few. He is. So is it okay If i have sex with him even though i am only 15, & known this boy for about 2 months ?
Missy, most people like to flirt - it’s a fun thing to do! Flirting doesn’t make you a freak or a tease.
You say that you and your friend love each other but that you aren’t together. It sounds like you aren’t together because you aren’t ready for another relationship yet after your break-up two months ago.
If you aren’t ready for a relationship, what makes you think that you are ready for sex? Once you start having sex with someone, it will change your relationship with that person. It will take you out of the friend zone and into a more intimate one.
Before you have sex with him (or anyone else) you just have to decide if you are really ready. You need to ask yourself questions like:
- Am I emotionally prepared if having sex ruins our relationship (or friendship)?
- Do I have proper birth control (pills, condoms, etc) and proper STD prevention (condoms)?
- Are we both prepared to deal with an unwanted pregancy if the condom breaks? (These things do happen - it’s something you should think about.)
- Do I have a good friend or relative to talk to after losing my virginity if I feel the need to talk to someone?
Having sex is great - but it is more than just a physical act. We can’t help that our emotions get involved… so just make sure that you are physically, mentally and emotionally prepared before you decide to do it.
And use a condom!
Good luck!